NC!!!!!

so i'm writing this late but i've been really busy since getting back. BUT!!!!! from july 26-31 i was the happiest i've ever been in my life so far. i got to go out to north carolina to see chris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vanessa and i flew out on sunday the 25th and got in monday the 26. i was a nervous wreck on the plane from atlanta into greensboro. i wasn't nervous that we wouldn't like each other. i was nervous because we'd been planning this trip for more than 45 days and i was finally getting to see him. our plane got in 30 minutes early which i was stoked about! i sent chris a text message telling him that we landed and he couldn't have been more excited either. as we were walking to baggage vanessa started video taping. you can tell just how nervous i was. then i saw him and my heart and stomach started doing flips in my body. i just couldn't wait to finally be in his arms. when i got close enough i just took off running into his arms and hugged him for the first time. he picked me up and was saying stuff like oh my lord! yay! it was really cute. then he put me down, we looked at each other then hugged again. haha. the video is priceless! we held hands for the first time walking to get our luggage. then while we were downstairs waiting, he kissed me for the first time!!!!! it was perfect! But I’ll never forget how nervous we both were. I remember when he first put his arms around me to give me a hug and I could feel his whole arms shaking. His hands were shaking when he held mine for the first time. He was even shaking when we got to his house and we were laying on his bed. driving back to his house, we held hands the entire time, i never wanted to let go. but let me say something, chris is way more handsome in person than he is on skype or in pictures. man this guy. i honestly have no idea how i got him, why he's with me. haha.

so we get to his house and the first person i meet is his mom. she was sitting on the couch across the room from the door so i went over and gave her a hug and we talked for a bit. one of the first things she said to me was "so you're the girl who makes my son so happy" i could tell that just by me going over and saying hi to his mom, that chris knew i was exactly who i said i always was. then he went and got grandma! let me tell you, grandma smothered me and vanessa with hugs and kisses every day! this day was no exception! she was so excited that i was finally there! grandpa was out and about in town when we got home so he wasn't there yet. but we didn't stay in the living room too long. we'd been flying all night and only got like 2 or 3 hours of sleep. so we went into chris's room and had a movie day. well it was more like a vanessa sleeping and aubree and chris making out day. hahaha. i got no sleep except maybe another hour. i was way to excited to finally be with chris to sleep are you kidding! then grandpa came home so he came in and said hi then let us get back to our "movies". that night grandma made us our first of many huge meals! i swear that woman cooks for an army but everything she made was soooooo good! after dinner we went and sat on the porch and we saw a fire fly! i was so excited! chris caught it and squished its butt then smeared the stuff on his arm and he was glowing! it was great!

on tuesday we slept in pretty late. their family is the type that stays up late at night and sleeps in the next day. so i think that day i woke up at like 8 but went and got chris up around 1030 or 11. we got dressed and while grandma made us breakfast we went and sat on the porch! i loved sitting out there. they had three rocking chairs and i'm serious when i say i could sit out there for hours. it's such a peaceful place sitting there with chris right next to me! after breakfast we had to go to chris's school to figure out his financial aid stuff. we were there for probably like and hour and a half. he felt bad that we had to do that but i honestly didn't care, as long as i was getting to spend time with him that's all that mattered! after that we went into chapel hill and saw as much of chris's favorite college as we could. it was storming that day so we didn't get out and walk around. we just drove and saw as much as we could. every night either grandma or grandpa made dinner except two nights haha. so this night grandma made us another delicious dinner. then we went to chris's room and tried to watch fire proof. but i'm pretty sure i started crying cause i was thinking about not being able to be there with chris in a few days. so vanessa left us alone to talk and cry with each other for a while. that was one of the many crying times with each other.

on wednesday we got up late again, well vanessa and chris did haha. we had breakfast, hung out around the house for a bit then went into charlotte. there we went to the mall and walked around. we went into a bass pro shop and walked around in there for like 45 minutes haha. then they had this shot gun game so we played that twice and me and vanessa beat chris both times. hahahaha. my poor baby. chris was on a mission to find me and vanessa tar heel shirts but he didn't find anything at the mall. then we just drove around, went and saw the charlotte nascar track, and drove by UNC Charlotte. chris was obviously upset when we drove by that because of matthew. but once we were on the freeway i talked to him and that i did too and made sure he knew that i don't love matthew anymore, that i want nothing to do with him. it was hard for me too though, i just tried to not let it show. that night we got bojangles for dinner, vanessa was sooooooo happy!

Thursday we slept in again… imagine that! But me, vanesssa and chris went to the movies. We saw inception and chris and I were confused the whole time, Vanessa understood what was happening hahaha. Then we went the mall chris always goes to and he finally found us tar heels shirts. So we got those then walked around some more and got dairy queen ice cream. After the mall we went back to his house, I changed then we left for our first date!!!! He had bought me a dress so I wore that. We dropped Vanessa off at her grandma’s friends house for the evening so we could have time to ourselves. He took my to olive garden for dinner. But he didn’t tell me that the shake he drank earlier had made him feel sick. He was so sick to his stomach that he hardly ate anything. We shared a chicken fettuccini and he only had like 3 bites. He didn’t tell me that he was feeling dizzy or anything. So while we’re in dinner he starts telling me how nervous he was to give me my present. He pretended that his hands were shaking and wouldn’t stop talking about it. He’d just look me in the eyes and tell me how much he loves me. I started freaking out cause I thought he bought me a ring. He told me about a week before I cam out that he had a sudden change in what he was gonna give me. So we walk out to the car and I’m a nervous wreck and when I open it it’s a beautiful necklace :D once I saw the box I knew it wasn’t a ring. Part of me was relieved but part of me was bummed. We talked about it through out the night and whether I would say yes or no. at first I wasn’t sure but by the end of the night I told him I’d say yes. I probably would have too. But we also talked about how foolish we would be to get married or engaged after only hanging out for 5 days, even though we’ve been talking every day for the last 6 months or so. But I love my necklace! It’s a locket and on the front it has a cross and the back says faith hope love. Its adorable! After dinner we went to a park and hung out until it got dark. Then the gazebo lights turned on. It was so romantic! We took a ton of pictures and held hands and kissed. Then on the way back to get Vanessa, I noticed that mosquitoes had attacked me! I was in so much pain for the next few days! Other than the mosquitoes that night was great! Thursday night was really hard. We were really starting to see that in just over a day I would be getting on a plane to go home, and that we wouldn’t be able to see each other every day anymore. That we wouldn’t be able to hold each other and kiss each other as much as we want anymore. It was really hard.

So all day Friday I was crying on and off like crazy. It was such a hard day. When I woke chris up we laid in the living room and pretty much cried for an hour. I never thought it would be that hard. But we had to get out of the house and do something. So we went with grandpa and vanessa to pilot mountain. It was so gorgeous! We walked to the top and chris and I got some time to just talk and hold each other, and of course to cry. We got the top and I couldn’t stop looking at everything around me. Being there with chris holding his hand or having his arm around my waist made it a million times more beautiful. Haha that whole day we had a 5 second rule where we couldn’t go five seconds without touching each other whether it was holding hands, hugging, having his hand on my leg, anything we just had to be touching. Cause I knew it was the last full day I’d be able to touch and hold him so I had to get in as much as I could. After pilot mountain we went to mayberry. Grandpa just sat in the car while me, chris and Vanessa walked around the town. We went into the candy shop and Vanessa bought some candy and she bought us some soda that was in a glass bottle. We didn’t spend much time there, cause there’s not that much to do haha. But after that grandpa wanted to take us through the blue ridge mountains. They were beautiful. We ended up going into Virginia to see them too. But that morning before we left I took a benadryl because of the bug bites I got the night before. So just driving in the car made me really tired and I slept most of the time. Chris slept quite a bit too. Although we missed most of the mountains and trees, it was nice to be able to just be in his arms and sleep for a while. Of course there was more crying too. Before we turned around we stopped in Virginia at this little shop to get out and stretch. We walked down to this open field and Vanessa was all excited and was frolicking through it so we took some pictures. But I was just tired so we went back up to the store and left a few minutes later. We got back to the house and grandma made us dinner. Gosh that whole day was so hard. She could tell that we’d been crying, well that I had been. So she’s come up to me and hug me and tell me to not let it ruin my last night there. But of course that made ma cry (even writing this now its making me cry). It was just hard knowing that it was the last night I would get to spend with the love of my life for I don’t know how long. But we tried to keep busy so that wouldn’t constantly be on our minds. Vanessa bought fire works in Virginia so we went outside and set them off. That was a lot of fun. There were poppers that you throw on the ground and they pop so me and Vanessa chased chris down with them and we were throwing them at his feet. Then we went inside and we were laying on his bed, horrible idea. Because I just started crying, more like balling. And chris started crying, we were just a huge mess. So Vanessa was in the bathroom talking to her guy while this was happening and she came out to us balling our eyes out. So she sat on the bed with us and we prayed. It helped but at the same time it made me cry even more. It was just hard spending those last few hours with him. So after that I said that there was no way I could just sit around like that because if I did I would just cry the whole time. So we got out the moonshine! That’s right. Grandpa has moonshine and he told us we could try some. But Vanessa and chris did more than try it, they gulped that stuff down and got a little tipsy. It was pretty funny seeing my boyfriend drunk. He’s definitely a funny drunk that’s for sure. So after that we just went into chris’s room and laid around and held each other. Our goal was to stay away all night because we had to leave for the airport at like 330. But at one point we all fell asleep but only for like a half an hour.

So we woke up and vanes and I had to pack. I was doing everything I could to not cry the whole time which meant not looking at chris. That’s when it really started sinking in and it made it hard for me to look at him because I knew that would be the last time I would be able to see him in person for a while. On our way to the airport I pretty much cried the whole time. We got there and checked out luggage then we all just sat there, me in chris’s arms crying. We had over an hour before we had to go through security. Then it came time to say bye. Chris was so freakin strong I don’t know how he did it. He didn’t cry until right before we got out of our chairs while I was crying the entire time. Then we said bye to grandpa and he went to the car. Chris walked us as far as he could. Then I just held him and cried. Gosh letting go of him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. We both promised each other we wouldn’t look back once we left but neither of us could help he. He looked back and saw me in vanessa’s arms still balling my eyes out and I looked to see him already gone. On the plane I slept as much as I could but it was hard. Then we got to san diego.

I thought I would be more excited to see my mom and my family, but I wasn’t. all I could think about was how I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be in north Carolina with chris. I didn’t feel like I belonged in san diego anymore and that was so hard. It was hard because I knew that I would have to go months without being in chris’s arms again and seeing him in person. It was hard because I knew that I couldn’t just drive down the street or go into the next room and see him. It was hard because I knew I would eventually have to go back to work and school and live my life while I didn’t want to do that. I would have to put up a front that I’m happy and eager to be at work and school. When really all of that is the last thing I want to do. But it’s what I have to do. I have to go to school, I have to work, and I have to make everyone believe that I’m happy being here. It’s going to be so hard, but it’s what I have to do until I can move out to north Carolina and be with chris forever.